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New Planet Names are Lame
So what are they planning on naming these new three? Cavallari, Apple and Federline of course! Actually they are going to be called Ceres, Charon and another TBD, which for now is nicknamed Xena. I am glad to see modern scientists continuing to use classical names for the planets. But in running out of all the cool Roman gods, they seem to be enlisting C-list mythology figures now. I mean Charon was just a ferryboat captain for the river Styx and Ceres, although a goddess was only in charge of growing plants. I think they should break out of Roman gods and look to Norse, Celtic and even Babylonian and Egyptian gods. Planets named Thor or Osirus would have a certain oomph to them.  Brad in Drag?
Aug. 12 - On the cover of this week's People why does Brad Pitt look so womanly? With his windblown hair, shiny complexion and lip gloss matched with the white scarf and turquoise tank top, I thought maybe she was his long-lost sister. But no, it is Brad circa 1988. Aging has actually bettered him as I don't think many women would find his old look very sexy. I don't know why I think it exactly, but he kind of looks like a politician's wife in the picture. Mad Mel Mouths Off
I hope it is not true, it sounds almost made up. Especially given the controversy Passion of the Christ had for its depiction of Jews. But if true Gibson is in big trouble. He was once a beloved action hero, then a controversial auteur but as a crazy racist he would be done. Not even doing Lethal Weapon 5 could bring back fans. I hope it does not distract from Apocalypto, his new film focused on the end of the Mayan civilization. The previews look great. Given the setting, at least there should be no worry of anti-Semitism. Lindsay Gets Grounded
If we believe this letter to be authentic (I have some doubts) Robinson begins nice with "Dear Lindsay" but goes onto say that he is "well aware that your ongoing all night heavy partying is the real reason for your so called 'exhaustion,'" and that she has been "discourteous, irresponsible and unprofessional." They may even hold her financially responsible for more missed time. To make things better, the letter was delivered to her at our modern Xanadu; the stately pleasure palace that is the Chateau Marmont in Hollywood. In my opinion, Lindsay should stay home a bit and read. Jeremy Piven's birthday party isn't going to be all that! She attends every premiere, opening and party. Perhaps she should focus on her career instead as she is on the verge of going Tara Reid unless she picks some good roles. Her last few films have flopped and no one gives her much credit for Prairie Home Companion. Kissing a Fool George Michael's Latest Disaster July 23 - As hard as it may be to fathom for younger readers, there was a time when George Michael was the biggest superstar on the planet. Back in 1987 his album Faith came out spending 12 weeks at No. 1 and selling over 10 million copies. He was a pinup idol for girls, his videos dominated MTV and probably was responsible for the popularity of acid wash jeans. He was Justin Timberlake times one thousand. But that was ages ago, since then those girls grew up and moved onto real life crushes, which is probably good anyway since he turned out to be hiding his homosexuality all those years. He has not been a music presence in many years but as gossip fodder he is at the top of the charts. Somewhere Andrew Ridgely is smiling. George Michael has the worst luck. Every time he messes up, nosy British newspapers seem to be there. In the past six months they caught him arrested for possessing pot, napping at an intersection and now apparently hooking up with an old ugly guy in some park. It's really sad. Even though they exchanged bitchy words earlier this year, perhaps Elton John will have a benefit concert for him.
Bikini Makegood After that George Michael story, and especially if you clicked the link to the full story, some readers may be in need of a barf bag. Here then is my makegood: pictures of always hot Kristin Cavallari in various swimsuits. Be Thankful to the "Slacker" Generation
When Smith started out, pop sociology dubbed the youth as Generation X, referring to what they saw as an apathetic, commitment-fearing group of slackers who were lost and lazy and not driven by classic models of mobility. I never agreed with this characterization, but do see that a valuable shift in values may have occurred through the early 90s. Let's go back. The spirit of the 80s with social climbing yuppies was gone. People saw that success did not have to come from stability, being a "company man," or by making safe choices. An existentialism that relied on one's daydreams sure may have seemed slacker-ish but once the internet came into being many of these kids had a place to put their passions. As silly as some them may have been, those dotcoms changed business for good. Giving rise to budding entrepreneurs and artists and a "creative class" to borrow a pop sociology phrase du jour. Pursuing passions has never been more accepted and possible. Do we have the first slackers that took McJobs (remember that term?) and moved back home to thank?
June 26 - Yeah so I'm all into pop culture and defend it where I can, but there are quite a few news threads and personalities that I just don't care about. But yet stories persist, somebody must be into them. For my sake I wish they would go away, so that when I hit up my Yahoo! home page I could avoid inane headlines like "Kidman gets Urbanized." Here is what I am hating on right now:
Before you give me credit for being anti-gossip and high-minded, I'm really not. For some reason I do care about who Lindsay is scoring with, how old Katherine McPhee's boyfriend is and all about Britney's breakdown including her new brunette do. 80s videos on demand
Check this out. Here is a site that streams over 1400 videos from the early MTV days. Just select a video and let it play because if you try to click pause or enlarge the screen, you will get taken to an ad page. That is the only flaw. BTW, the great Pink is the new blog turned me onto this site. My faves at the moment: Don Johnson's "Hearbeat" and Cyndi Lauper's "Time after Time." Related: Ads from the 80s
That's right, on June 6th my average daily visitor tally was.....666! Coincidence or curse?
June 5 - If you are reading this on Tuesday, then the world is still spinning on the ominous "Devils' Day." Personally I think we will be just fine. Vegas oddsmakers have our salvation favored at 100,000 to 1, and I certainly trust them. But maybe some weird shizz is going down nonetheless? Preachers are staging pray-ins, the borrowing costs on the 30-year mortgage is 6.66%, the citizens of Hell, Michigan are partying down, the remake of The Omen is being released and people want Al Gore to be president. The Heavy Metal world has its hooks and horns all over it with the National Day of Slayer and tributes to Iron Maiden's Number of the Beast. Besides waiting to see if Alec Trebek will be revealed as the antichrist, what are your big plans? Queen: We Won't Rock You
Culture Bits Apr. 17 - Some surveying around the newsocracy brings some interesting stories.
Culture Drift Buzz Meter Another top search has been "what happened to Kenny Rogers" or "Kenny Rogers plastic surgery" following his surprising American Idol appearance. I was on the money with that post. Other key terms that reappear frequently have been "Kevin Covais girlfriend," Nicole Richie, Fonzworth Bentley, The Killers Hot Fuss, Rascal Flatts and the Web site last nights party. Pop culture in a "nation of niches" March 16 - We are surrounded by pop culture now more than ever. The coverage, analysis, blogging and watercoolering of mass entertainment is practically our national pastime. For many of us, keeping track of the weekend box office, top songs and who's dating who is the equivalent of tracking sports teams and game stats. But while there is more coverage and attention put to pop culture, I argue that there is actually less true popular culture. There are no Beatles, Elvis or I Love Lucy. Things that everyone absorbed and loved at the same time. Our entertainment is segmented into thousands of tiny niches. Patrick Goldstein, a L.A. Times columnist called us a "nation of niches" when predicting the Academy Awards would be low-rated, which they were of course. The films nominated and awarded were smallish films made with indie budgets. He looked ahead to a time when the Oscars would no longer be a large international event, and was only watched by a small group of film buffs. He cited the low ratings for former must-watch events like the World Series, NBA Championship series and Miss America now banished to cable, as other examples of events that have fallen from grace. In the music world, things are even more splintered. Yes, there are true superstars — Kanye, Eminem and Garth who sell well, but they are rare, and even then not liked by all of America at the same time. That was Sinatra, Elvis and Michael Jackson, the last artist to truly cross over 20 years ago. His Thriller remains the top selling album of all time, and may remain so. Music is now made up of personalized, eclectic niches. Thus all the hyphens and subgroups like "Proto-Punk" and "Third Wave Ska Revival." So if there are less mainstream sensations to capture the world's attention, why is the pop culture business bigger than ever? I think we have built up huge desires to know the world at-large because of the access we have to everything at once through the web. We want to know what the new movies or bands are, even if we choose not to like them. Another factor is that within our media-saturated world, everything just seems bigger. A small band from Finland with a Web site can get fans in Oregon. That band then gets press and the whole world hears about it. But does that band become "popular culture" ala the Beatles? Probably not, but they will have their loyal base and that is that. With more choices for media and the way we consume it, the trend of ever-dividing entertainment will continue. The coverage of these niches will increase too, perhaps through new vehicles driven by passionate fans. Hot Topic is Not Punk Rock The Best No-Duh Song of the Month Feb. 27 - You
probably have already heard this song, but if not, here
is a novelty song that takes on Hot Topic, the mall-based
bastion of poseur goth and punk clothing that adorn many
kids under the age of 17. MC Lars, a Berkeley, CA based "Post-Punk
Laptop Rapper," as he puts it, has a runaway internet
hit on his hands. PS, that is not him pictured right.
While this is a funny batch of snarkiness, and mostly true, I can't fault teens for honoring great music from the past. If a kid born in 1990 wants to wear an Iron Maiden shirt or get stoned and stare at a Led Zeppelin black light poster, let it be. It's not like only those born in the original punk rock era have exclusive rights to the Sex Pistols. But since a corporate body with outlets in unhip malls sells the gear, it is ripe for ridicule. True punk rock it is not, but then what is in 2006? You can download the song from MC Lars' myspace profile.  Blackwell's
Worst Dressed List
Jan. 10 - Persnickety fashion critic Mr. Blackwell is back with his annual worst dressed list. I have no idea what Mr. Blackwell's fashion credentials are or even what his first name is. But he is guaranteed at least one day a year of publicity and today is that day. This is his 46th year of dissing the stars. He was clearly ahead of his time when be began this back in 1960. In fact he was like a blogger who gets to bitch at will or Joan and Melissa Rivers before they were invented. (Actually Joan was invented 200 years ago in a lab but only became the fashion snark she is 15 years ago.) The 46th Annual Worst Dressed List:
1. Britney Spears The only true surprise is Eva Longoria who seemingly can do no wrong since she is on every magazine cover. I agree with Lindsay Lohan for the first half of the year, her bulimic phase, but since she put back on weight she always looks great. Britney is an easy pick, especially with outfits like this. Same for Paris, Mary-Kate and Mariah. Just to show he's not all bad news, Blackwell also announced his "Fabulous Fashion Independents of 2005" Reese Witherspoon The King's Birthday Why Rock stars should die young
Sure there are aged icons like Mick Jagger (62) and Paul McCartney (63) but everyone knows their glory days were years earlier. That's because youth is the alchemy behind popularity. It drives what breaks big beginning with teen fans finding heroes in performers not much older than themselves. Those artists in turn invent a new style that belongs to their generation, like The Doors did with the psychedelic set of the 60s or Kurt Cobain wrought with the 90s grunge movement. The same applies to celebrities and other notables now past whom we can only imagine as figures of a particular era. JFK shot dead in 1963 is forever young, never the 88-year-old he would be today. Same for his rumored paramour Marilyn Monroe, dead since the early 60s instead of a 79-year-old alive in 2006. Here is list of famous dead stars and how old they would at this moment: Elvis Presley (71) 2005: It Was a Very Good Year... Or a bad one depending on who you are. Jan. 1 - Like any year 2005 had its share of winners and losers. For some it was a glittery gallop of fame, praise and acceptance. Others were stuck in the gutter of disdain or just bad luck. This does not just apply to celebrities as institutions, groups and even whole cities like Paris, London or New Orleans had crappy years.
The year had other examples of the fickleness of fate. Falling from grace were former players like J. Lo, The Governator and Tom Cruise. While stars were made of Stephen Colbert and Fall Out Boy and it became officially okay to like Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone."
2005: The Year in Pop Culture
There were several themes that rang through the year: Celeb hookups. 2005 was filled with cinematic couplings that forced journalists into ever more confusing combinations of names like Brangelina, TomKat, Vaughniston and Paris squared. Fans love when celebrities hook up with other celebrities. It is expected. How many stars can you think of who have non-showbiz partners these days? Even D-levelers were pairing up lilke Kimberly Stewart and Talan from Laguna Beach. Celebrity journalism run amok. This is the age of celebrity. There are more magazines, TV shows and Web sites devoted to the stars now than ever before. People are eating it up. We especially love when they are brought down to earth in pictures doing laundry or having meltdowns on VH1 "celebreality" programming. This is all good but the paparazzo needs to chill down (and slow down when driving) big-time. We can live without another picture of Lindsay Lohan entering a club. Good TV. America's TV in 2005 was excellent. Following on the success of scripted fare like Lost and Desperate Housewives, this year there was Rome, Over There, Grey's Anatomy and Battlestar Galactica. All were first-rate entertainment worthy of comparison to anything on the big screen. With the launch of the video ipod, more on-demand options and TV on DVD there is a lot of quality and innovation within the TV world. Charity 'R Us. "George Bush doesn't care about Black people" may become the quote of the year. Kanye West made it during the Hurricane Katrina relief telethon. As much as I love New Orleans (I grew up there) and wanted to help with the aid efforts, I can't help feeling that it was very much pre-packaged. Like there is a template for relief that was created by 9/11 (telethon airing on all networks simultaneously), the Aids effort (in place of red ribbons, celebs wear magnolias to show they care) and hunger relief (an all-star benefit song ala "We are the World" but this time with Sharon Stone!?!) Showy fashion. 2005 was filled with more ironic T-shirt slogans, furry boots, Jesus chains and other ostentatious "look at me" fashion. It's like 13-year-old girls possess the minds of the world's fashion designers. The year of getting off. Not that way sicko, maybe it's better worded as the year celebs beat the rap. Martha is freed and gets a TV show. Michael Jackson walks...all the way to Dubai. Robert Blake is good to go "cowboying" as he put it. Now if only Scott Peterson had been a sitcom star or former Mouseketeer. I will continue to recap 2005, because it was a good year. So good that I await its eventual retro return, probably in 2025 when it will be cool to listen to "Hollaback Girl" again or to remember "Dancing with the Stars" fondly. Meanwhile I will ponder some of the big questions that 2005 brought forth like what the hell happened to Dave Chappelle and why is Anderson Cooper suddenly all over my life? Death Pool Update #2: Senator McCarthy R.I.P No, it's not that Senator McCarthy, Moron! Dec. 10 - Just after publishing the Richard Pryor death notice, I saw a headline declaring "Former Senator McCarthy has died." I bet that many people thought the report was about Senator Joseph McCarthy, the red-baiting 50s era politician whose name came to stand for witch hunts of all stripes and is the villain of Good Night and Good Luck, the new film by George Clooney. That McCarthy died years ago, the Senator who passed today was Eugene McCarthy, 89, who ran for President in the tumultuous 1968 election. With two deaths down today, do they really come in threes? Former Senator Dies {CNN} Death Pool Update #1: Richard Pryor R.I.P.
Pathbreaking
Comedian Dies {Yahoo!} VH1's Big in '05 Awards
Dec. 5 - I really love VH1. It is hard to believe that it was once known for videos not cool enough for MTV. Today it is the ultimate source of pop culture reference and analysis on TV. Best of all, unlike the celebrity fluff found in Us Weekly or Access Hollywood everything on VH1 comes with attitude, including last night's Big in '05 Awards telecast. Oh, So That's What Tookie Looks Like!  Dec. 4 - In California we hear a lot about death row inmate Stanley "Tookie" Williams, the founder of the Crips gang. His pending execution has become a cause celebre but up until now I have not seen what he looked like. Woah! That hair alone is worth a phone call from the Governator. The angelic artwork at left comes from his biography of which there was a film last year starring Oscar winner Jamie Foxx. Who knew that? Did he don a wig and balloon arms?
People Fooled by Aniston's Double {MSNBC} Oct. 24, 2005 Wet Pictures of the Year
It has been a shitty year if you live near water. Starting with the day after Christmas tsunami which killed hundreds of thousands, it is as if the lord Poseidon remerged pissed off as ever and decided to show us who's boss through his three bitchy daughters, Katrina, Rita and Wilma. Even for those unaffected by the disasters first-hand, we have all shared an experience that is etched into our consciousness, largely because of news coverage. Images of doppler radar, waist-deep survivors and washed out buildings are the pictures of the year. Sadly. Sept. 27, 2005 Laguna Beach's Kristin
Aug. 28, 2005 Suge Shot at Kanye's MTV Party The VMAs are still hours away but already there is a hot news story. Rap producer Suge Knight was shot early Sunday morning at Kanye West's award party. He took one in the leg while in the VIP section of a nightclub and apparently he will be fine. This is the not the first time the VMAs have courted violence, Tupac Shakur was shot and killed at the 1996 VMAs held in Las Vegas. Many contend that Suge played a role in that incident, which makes today's shooting all the more intense. Suge Shot {Breitbart} Aug. 8, 2005 Who Killed Marilyn? New Questions Upon Anniversary of Death
I couldn't resist using the title of The Misfits "Who Killed Marilyn?" for this headline. The truth is, no one knows. Did she kill herself or was she drugged? Over 40 years after her death in August 1962 debate continues as does our fascination with the fallen idol. The L.A. Times has scored an exclusive with a transcript of what are purported to be audio tapes she made with a psychiatrist days before her death. It is important to note that the tapes may not exist. In fact no one alive today has heard them other than a former L.A. Prosecutor who swears his transcripts to be legit. Most conspiratists blame the Kennedy's or the Mob, if for no other reason because it would make that early 60's era so much more thrilling. In the transcripts there is no mention of sex between Marilyn and JFK or RFK. Although a lesbian rendezvous with Joan Crawford is discussed as are her failed marriages and musings on Shakespeare, Freud and James Joyce. Is this the voice of Marilyn on these typed pages? Or just the attempt of an aging Marilyn fan devoted to clearing her legacy? Marilyn:
Her Own Words? {LA Times} Aug. 1, 2005 Got Island? Development of 300 custom islands make up "The World"
A community of 300 custom islands is being developed off the coast of Dubai, home to random sheiks and scandals over the years. The island chain is designed to replicate the shape of the world (see above), with clusters to represent continents. Entitled "The World" it is designed for only the very wealthy. When my internet millions come through, I will buy Rio. July 28, 2005 Newsfinder at-Large It's time for random stories from the past week, beginning with demographics on how the state of Utah will soon no longer be a Mormon state. Then there's the ancient phallus found in a cave. A 20,000 year old block of chiseled stone 20 centimeters in length. We can't understand the metric system to know 20 centimeters, but it sounds like Dirk Diggler found a time machine. Meanwhile in England, a rock singer took a stagedive and sadly died. July 18, 2005 The World's Gayest Logos According to Radar Talk about your gaydar. The recently re-launched magazine, Radar is working hard to stand out with attitude and swagger. At times the publication resembles the style of opinionated and bitchy bloggers. That's not really a bad thing in my own opinion. This month's issue and online "Static" report begins with MTV's new all-gay network LOGO to bring us the world's other gayest logos. A few samples are the all-too obvious FTD flowers, and the cutesy World Wildlife Fund (WWF) as shown below.
The World's Gayest Logos {Radar} July 14, 2005 The Pope vs. Harry Potter The headline above is more salacious that it needs to be, but whatever. Before he was the Pope, Cardinal Ratzinger criticized the Harry Potter books in two letters as "subtle seductions" that could corrupt young Christians. Is part of the job of being a religious leader to be such a killjoy? Like you can't be for anything that isn't of the church? Harry Potter made reading cool to many kids; compare that to what some priests did to kids. I hope he had harsher words for them. July 9, 2005 Omarion: No Prayers For the Playa'
Omarion Nixes Prayer Request {E!} July 5, 2005 America's Hangover
Also the world rocked Live 8 (Björk, above), but you wouldn't know it unless you had AOL since there was limited TV coverage, including tons of ill-timed commercials; and virtually no radio outside of XM. There must be at least 40 pointless channels or open spaces on my digital cable line-up, why couldn't all ten concerts from Live 8 be carried there? June 27, 2005 When Advertising Steals Art In advertising, or anything creative for that matter, imitation and downright thievery is commonplace. What was once original becomes co-opted and redistributed under new names. Pop art, which a lot of advertising aspires to be, often rely on images already familiar to viewers. The borrowed elements act as a cultural shorthand and establish immediate recognition and impact. Advertisers use techniques like this to connect with their target, but recently there has been a backlash of sorts. First there was the ire of graffiti artists upset that images appearing all over London's East End (see below left) were actually part of a campaign for a client of Saatchi & Saatchi. They decried the agency's use of their form of "street art." Now Nike is drawing scorn by punk rock fans for using the design of a 1984 Minor Threat album. Dischord Records, who released the album, report that Nike did not ask for permission to use the artwork and change the title to "Major Threat" in reference to their sponsorship of a skateboarding tour. A Dischord rep told Pitchfork Media that, "...they are using this explicit imagery to fool kids into thinking that the general ethos of this label (Dischord), and Minor Threat, can somehow be linked to Nike's mission. It's Disgusting." This is not the first time Nike has pissed off art purists, as in 1986's campaign featuring The Beatle's "Revolution."
Nike Campaign "Borrows" Album Art {Pitchfork}
June 27, 2005 Ice Haven by Daniel Clowes
June 19, 2005 Stop Saying "Who's Your Daddy?" 
On this Father's Day, can we all pledge to stop using the phrase "Who's your daddy"? It was great right after 1997's Boogie Nights, a film that was of course set in porno world of the 1970s, which made for the right mix of sleaze and winking irony that hipsters could safely wear it on T-shirts. But its time has passed.
June 20, 2005 Is this Matthew McConaughey?
Crucified Nun Dies in "Exorcism" {BBC News}
June 17, 2005 TomKat Update: He Proposed at The Eiffel Tower "Today is a magnificent day for me, I'm engaged to a magnificent woman." This is what Tom Cruise said this morning at a news conference. Tom Proposes {MyWay} Here is the original post from yesterday, which originated from Defamer gossip. They were the first on the story and until this morning no one else even picked it up.June 16, 2005 Defamer Story (June 16 @1:50p.m.) June 12, 2005 Anti-Guerilla Advertising Brigade Slick Idea Backfires on Agency Most advertising agencies speak about going beyond traditional ads. They feign to embrace Tivo, mobile marketing, the Web, sponsored content and guerilla tactics in their effort to break through and connect with influential audiences. Often their work is designed to entertain. They sell their products or services by associating them with something cool. Viral marketing, which draws in consumers to think they are the ones discovering a product rather than being marketed to, is one such technique. In this effort Saatchi & Saatchi, the UK advertising agency, had its clever plans involving graffiti art foiled by real street artists.
Scorn
on Saatchi's Campaign {Times Online}
Hair of the Damned  May 24 - What better way to convince a jury and public of your innocence on a murder beef than to don the crazed auteur who likes light sockets look? You know, Phil Spector's hair could be really cool, if only that Ludwig van Beethoven look would come back in style. Wall of Hair {Wizbang}  May
20, 2005Saddamgraphy Is this the new Calvin Klein campaign? I know Ashton Kutcher promised to do one of their campaigns if his lousy movie opened at No. 1, which it did not, but did Saddam have a movie come out recently? Maybe it was called Baghdad Bulge? Were these pictures leaked (sorry) by the U.S. Military to "deal a blow" to the insurgency? That is what the UK's Sun reports a military source stated, according the Reuters story. May 8, 2005 Time Traveler Party Update Remember all the excitement last Friday when you heard about that time traveler convention put on by some MIT students? Okay, maybe there was no excitement on your part and instead you decided to give a nerd a wedgie. But in case you were wondering, here is an update straight from the source: The convention was a success! Unfortunately, we had no confirmed time travelers visit us. We did, however, have a great series of lectures, awesome bands, and even a DeLorean. As Tina Fey put it on SNL's Weekend Update, perhaps there were no time travelers from the future because they already knew the party sucked. May 2, 2005 Blogging Like it's 1947  The
smell of noir was never more pronounced than in post-WWII
Los Angeles. Here many were lured in by the promise of
fame and sunny glitz, only to be crushed by the emerging
urban jungle — a mean mash-up of jazz, drugs, new
morals and scams. One such victim was Elizabeth Short,
made famous as the "Black Dahlia" murder in 1947, which
is covered alongside other crimes from that year on the
blog site "1947project." Featured
in Sunday's L.A. Times Magazine, writers Kim Cooper
and Nathan Marsak have zeroed in on that year with a daily
recounting of the most infamous events and haunts.
The concept of a past-tense blog is very cool, but I think it can be taken even further than the 1947 site does, which has a narrow cast on crime and real estate stories. It makes me want to design a blog that fully pretends to be from a year in the past. With no mention of events that happened since and a broad view of all pop culture from that year. I would pick the year 1984 and cover the rise of Michael Jackson, breakdancing, the L.A. Olympics and Miami Vice. Or the explosive and psychedelic year of 1968. Or maybe even 1776! April 18, 2005 Best Headline of the Day ACCUSER'S MOTHER FEARED HOT AIR BALLOON CAPTURE... This is, of course, related to the Michael Jackson case as it appeared on Drudge on Monday. Here is a link to that story, which is not as thrilling as the headline. Although, this excerpt from an article about American Pie actress Natasha Lyonne is buried within a fairly dull headline on Yahoo!: A New York judge issued an arrest warrant on Monday for "American Pie" movie actress Natasha Lyonne, who failed to appear for a court hearing on charges stemming from a rampage during which she was heard threatening to molest a neighbor's dog. Police called to the scene said Lyonne told the neighbor, "I'm going to sexually molest your dog." April 5, 2005 Papal Gazing
The focus shifts between the life and death of JP-II and the selection of his successor. As many as two million people will flock to Vatican City (and pay jacked-up hotel prices in Rome according to one report) to witness the funeral ceremony on Friday. The same day that Prince Charles was going to marry Camilla Parker-Bowles until it was smartly postponed. You know what they say about not wanting to upstage the bride, and in Camilla's case any corpse might do that! Yesterday, Slate re-ran its 2003 piece, Papal Chase, a bettor's guide to predicting the next pope. Before you go referring to "Angels & Demons" by Dan Brown ("Da Vinci Code") as source material for the conclave, check out the official rules of the game, Universi Dominici Gregis. If like on American Idol you cannot wait to find out who wins, consult the prophecies of St. Malachy who reportedly predicted all the popes from 1130 to the end of time with an 80 percent accuracy rate. According to him, the next pope will be the second to last — Pope Gloria Olivae ("Glory of the Olives"). This causes many to think he will be Italian, or a very skinny woman from the Popeye cartoons. Papal
Chase {Slate} 
April
5, 2005 Red Ink Out of Favor {CNN} April 5, 2005 Mayor McLame  Out
to prove that electing Jerry Springer as mayor of Cincinnati
was no fluke, the city that time forgot may get the chance
to vote for another 90s relic. Justin Jeffre, 32, who is called
a "singer and dancer" from the former boy band 98
Degrees, just announced his plans to run in this year's election.
98 Degrees were essentially the poor man's N'Snyc, responsible
for nothing greater than bandmate Nick Lachey's devirginization
of dimwitted hottie Jessica Simpson. Actually that was a great
achievement, perhaps he deserves consideration for the upcoming
UN Secretary-General role.
Boy Band Singer Runs for Mayor {AP}
 March
28, 2005Man Smuggles Art into Museum After his accomplices faked a gay lover's spat, a British graffiti artist placed his artwork on the wall of the Museum of Modern Art in New York where it remained for several days before being noticed. This was part of a coordinated effort against four major museums, or a clever plot device to be used in the sequel to Nicolas Cage's National Treasure. The Art Smuggler {CNN} March 24, 2005 Why We Go Retro
March 11, 2005 Caddy Shag
Sometimes when I watch old shows and movies, I think how
much easier it would have been if they had cell phones.
For instance, when the Colombians ambush Crockett and Tubbs
from Miami Vice and they need to find a pay phone
to call for back up. Or how a cell would have helped those
confusing situations on Three’s Company,
not to mention those poor kids in the Friday the 13th
movies. Under our noses, cell phones have changed society
and human behavior forever. But why do we need to talk so
much and to whom? Feb. 20, 2005 Hunter S. Thompson Commits Suicide
The Denver Post and Drudge are the first to report that "gonzo" journalist, cult figure and recluse Hunter S. Thompson died Sunday of a gunshot wound to the head, apparently self-inflicted. The author of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas" was discovered by family at his Woody Creek, Colo. compound. Unfortunately, suicide is too common a route for many of our deep thinkers and artists. Hemingway and Cobain just to name a few. Thompson dead at 67 {Denver Post} Feb. 20, 2005 Paris Calling Hacking Not Just For Nerds Anymore Not since 1983's War Games has the world of hackers seemed so aspirational. In a spice-up to a boring President's Day Weekend, some techno-nerds were reportedly able to hack into Hilton's cellphone. Phone cam pics and her adress book containing numbers and email addresses of her A to F-list pals are now all over the web. This almost sounds like a rejected plotline from Alias whereby Jennifer Garner goes up against a Euro trash, über whore/super spy who poledances and frequents Las Vegas and Lakers games. Or is this another publicity hoax by Hilton? Maybe designed to showcase the versatility of the T-Mobile Sidekick, which she and other celebs represented in a TV ad earlier? By looking at her address book, T-Mobile does seem a lot cooler than my Sprint PCS account. Paris
Hilton's T-Mobile Account {GorillaMask}UPDATE:
SITE HAS REMOVED PHONE NUMBERS Feb. 16, 2005 Moving on Up....
Perhaps a merry band of billboard pranksters are at work in LA or not. Thanks to Defamer and other bloggers for pointing out this billboard on 3rd and Fairfax in LA. Who wouldn't want to move into the Palazzo if it has naked pyramid and sexy neighbors like Pfc. Lynndie England? Jan. 29, 2005 Who is the Greatest American?
The voting began on January 13 and goes through February 16, with the top 100 nominees to be announced in March. The campaign continues through May with original mini-biography segments available online. Then in American Idol style, there will be a weekly TV series on Discovery with online votes determining how the list of 100 is pared down to No. 1. Imagine when Thomas Jefferson is voted off in favor of Ray Charles (due to post-Oscar fever) in week four! Given that the voting is conducted online and is not scientific, the results may be skewed. Your Grandpa may love William Jennings Bryan, but he's not gonna be on the web to vote for him. Jan. 17, 2005 Il Grande Fumo No More Smoking in Italy
Italians Brace for Brave New Non-Smoking World {Yahoo! News}
Jan. 13, 2005 Gaypocalypse Now
The report was released through Freedom of Information Act (FOIA) requests by the Sunshine Project. Pentagon Reveals Rejected Chemical Weapons {NewScientist via Drudge} Jan. 6, 2005 Ikea's "Fartfull." Does it mean the same thing in Swedish?
Jan. 1, 2005 2005 Census: Now there's 295 Million Of Us The U.S. Census Bureau released figures that as of New Year's Day, the population of the United States will be 295,160,302. No more pulling out that easy to recall "250 million" figure. This is an increase in 1 percent from 2004 with a projected birth every eight seconds. U.S. Population at 295 Million {Yahoo! News} |
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Aug. 16 -You don't need to be Carl Sagan to know that the planets in our solar system go from Mercury to Pluto. Even those pop culture dimwits from the Zogby poll below know their names, their order and of course those easy jokes about Uranus.
But scientists are close to deciding whether 
July 28 - I really hope this report is false. I don't care about Mel Gibson getting arrested for a DUI. It happens. But I don't like the report TMZ 
July 28 - As much as I love a party girl, I gotta say I am glad to Lindsay Lohan get slapped down a bit by a Hollywood heavy. The Smoking Gun published 
July 16 - I was struck with a thought while browsing an article about Kevin Smith, a director who found fame in the early 90s for films about aimless twentysomethings. That maybe we should be grateful to "slackers" for the rise of "the creative class."
When Pop Culture Sucks
Weird Stats on 6/6/06 
666:
End of the World Edition
Here
are some of the lyrics:
Jan.
8 - If Elvis were still alive, he
would have turned 71 today. The photo at right is
a computer simulation of how an older Elvis would
appear. Maybe that is why it's a good thing rock
stars aspire to "live fast, die young and leave
a good-looking corpse." Who can imagine a 62-year-old
Jim Morrison or 63-year-old Jimi Hendrix getting
senior discounts at the multiplex? 
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Dec.
10 - Richard Pryor, the legendary comedian
who pushed the racial envelope with his stand-up in
the 60s and 70s, has passed away from a heart attack
at 65. He long suffered from multiple sclerosis living
out of the limelight for the last 15 years. Though
he battled with cocaine abuse and an almost life-ending
fire accident, as of the early 80s he remained on top
of the world as one of the highest paid movie stars.
That is until his career's true downfall - Superman
III. The 1983 film disappointed fans of both Pryor
and the Man of Steel. From that point on, Pryor was
never the same in my opinion. In recent years, he was
honored by comedians like Dave Chappelle and Chris
Rock as being influential to their careers. A 2004
tribute showed Pryor carrying on in the face of his
declining health with the irreverent title, "I
Ain't Dead Yet, #*%$#@!!" One year later the "#*%$#@!!" is
dead. No word yet from Gene Wilder, his partner in
several classic films like Stir Crazy. 
If there is one dude in no need
of prayer, it is 20-year-old R&B star Omarion.
He is rich and young, a smooth dancer and on the way
to becoming a pimp of Usher like standards. Certainly
he has no problems compared to the poor souls caught
up in the London 7/7 bombings. But that did not stop
a web campaign urging fans of the "O" to
pray for his safe return from London where he was for
a tour stop. The story was big news on Thursday and
Friday, with Londoners aghast at his audacity. Now
the singer's reps are claiming the prayer request was
not authorized by either himself or anyone associated.
For their part Reuters, who ran the 
Why do they put July 4th on a Monday?
It makes coming back to work so much harder. Like who
wants to posit on the ramifications of the future Supreme
Court with the scent of Jager on all your clothes?
So let's look instead at the box office slump, which
continues into its 
Graphic
novels are gaining the respect of literary critics and
audiences. There have been film versions of Frank Miller's Sin
City and Alan Moore's From Hell, with
an adaptation of his V Is For Vendetta to
be released later in 2005. Daniel Clowes, the author
of Ghost World has just released Ice
Haven, subtitled "A Comic-Strip Novel" which
is about a midwestern city and its many varied citizens.
While I have not read the book, it is interesting
that a graphic novel which uses none of the genre's
classic elements - superheroes, crime, and exaggerated
characters - is able to be effective and compelling.
In his review of Ice Haven, The L.A.
Times reviewer wrote that, "Comics may
be the best medium to capture our suburban experience.
Novels fall too easily into elevated drama. Cinema
has no still images. Television plots require that
people mess with one another's lives far more than
actually happens." 
The
entertainment industry clearly does not agree. Witness
Angelina Jolie's "Who's your daddy now?" lodged
during a feud with film hubby Brad Pitt in The Smiths. Hasn't
Buffy, Alias and every other onscreen hottie for
the last five years asked the same question?
When will screenwriters come up with a new taunt for sexy
heroines? Meanwhile in another galaxy, George Lucas who
is not above any lame tie-in for Revenge of the Sith unveils
his Father's Day promotion campaign. So while he further
diminishes the Star Wars legacy, he
also kills the "Who's your daddy?" legacy. That
makes my crusade here a lot easier, thanks dude. 
Sadly this is not the cooky Sahara star
and bongo-playing Austin native, but rather a scary
Romanian zealot, Father Daniel who admits to chaining
a disobedient nun to a cross, where she later died.
He and his equally intense followers claim the nun
was possessed. He said, "I don't understand why
journalists are making such a fuss about this. Exorcism
is a common practise in the heart of the Romanian Orthodox
church and my methods are not at all unknown to other
priests,"
In
a shock to European sensibilities and frankly all our continental
stereotypes, it will soon be illegal to smoke throughout
Italy's public places. This includes bars, cafes, restaurants,
discotheques and offices. For a place that uses the term
"discotheque" this seems awfully American. The
rule was set to begin on January 1, but a final stay of
execution was granted to not spoil New Year's Eve celebrations
and the religious Feast of the Epiphany (January 6), who
knew that Feast was a reason to smoke?
According to recently released Pentagon papers, the Defense
Department explored all kinds of new age, non lethal chemical
weapons during the 90s. Including some to bring on severe
halitosis (bad breath) and rashes in enemy forces. Another
was an "aphrodisiac" weapon to provoke instant
attraction between soldiers, with outbreaks of homosexual
behavior and mass hysteria all around. Kind of like the
battle scenes in Oliver Stone's Alexander. We should
have had it for the fight with the Taliban, where the punishment
for being gay was being stoned to death. 